Monthly Archives: January 2011

>Solitaire

>Am I horrible looking? Do I have bad breath? Do I stink? Do I look like a monster or do I give monsterous looks? Are my conversations irritating/boring? What is it?

Well… I don’t think I’m horrible looking, pretty decent. NO!! I don’t have bad breath. NOOO!! I don’t stink. Infact stinking people and people with bad breath put me off… :-/

Hmmm… I do give monsterous and unapproving looks when I see misbehaving and disgusting people, who think they can stare, whistle and pass comments about any girl on the road, to people who spit on the road, to people who shove others in buses, in queues etc… Yeah, I do have a serious kind of a face, which breaks out into a smile or better into laughter for only familiar, close people, for kids, puppies and on occasions when I remember something funny or read/watch something funny. Quite restrictive I guess. I remember my professor always asking me, why do I carry a serious face and telling me that I should smile more often. Maybe this is the reason…

Ok… Let me come to the point. It has been complete six months since I joined my team at work and I still don’t have a single friend in the team. 😦 When I joined the team it consisted of nearly 40 members, which has come down to about 25 now ( now you must be thinking that I’m a loner 😛 ). Well, I have hardly spoken to anyone except the colleague who sits next to me or my manager and all talks being majorly work related.

I take time to make friends and I sort of stick to the ones I’ve made. My closest friends are the chosen few from school and college. When I say few I mean really few. Here at work, we were a small group of friends who got acquainted during training, stuck to each other all the time, during study, assignment, breaks, weekend outings etc. It naturally continued that way once we got into projects, though different ones. Hence my interaction with the new project members was minimal. I wasn’t intentional though..

Now, almost all my friends having moved to different cities, only a couple of us left. 😦 I get terribly bored and feel really lonely when the others are on leave or busy. The almost ever weekend roaming has stopped coz there’s no group to enjoy it with. Less interaction with the team adds to the woes.

I’m to be moved to a new project, hope things get better there and hope I interact with more people and take less time to do so. 🙂 Wish me luck…

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Filed under justMe, office

>Happy Republic Day

>The best video I’ve ever seen. Brings tears to your eyes… No words to explain it… Just watch it..

Proud to be an Indian!!

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Fee-Male

During a recent conversation with a very close friend, I asked her how her sister was? The friend I’m talking about has been really close to me since school days. We used to spend hours together in each other’s house and I know everyone in their family. Very nice, down-to-earth people. When she got married I felt that it was a little too early, a couple of years more would have been good. But she was happy and was getting married to her childhood love, so I was delighted for her.

Less than two years later she told me her sister’s getting married. I was surprised and enquired what was the urgency for? She said it was all unplanned, there were quite a few proposals and everyone had spoken highly of this guy and his family. So her parents felt that they should probably not let it go. That’s how everything got fixed. Her sis was still in her final year of college. She was to complete her last semester and then go stay with her husband who was in another city.

Felt sad to hear that her sis is not happy and her parents are worried about her. The In-laws behave weirdly with her. Her Sis-in-law asks the Mother-in-law to overhear what she talks on the phone. The husband never got her a new sim but asked her to use the one at home. It was their first year wedding anniversary last week and the husband didn’t get her anything nor did they go out anywhere. Every girl has wishes and expectations. To be treated in a special manner atleast on special occasions. When asked, he retorted saying “I know when to get you what, you don’t need to tell me“.

She was the darling daughter at home. Every wish of her’s was a command. Her parent’s spent nearly 12-13 lakhs for her wedding. They are from a normal middle-class joint-family, so that is a huge amount for them. Her parents gifted the son-in-law a gold chain during Diwali. All that the girl’s MIL had to tell about this was “A longer chain would have been better“.

For how long are such practices going to continue? Is there no end to it? No matter how educated the person is, the family is, such treatment with the girl and her parents still continue. This is a minor case, there are cases much worse and much hopeless. What about cases where the girl is tortured for dowry? The parents are overburdened by the demands from the guy’s parents.

People don’t have any regret in practicing such systems even today. During another conversation with a friend, he was telling me that in his place if the guy’s an engineer, 10-12 lakhs and if a doctor, 12-15 lakhs is guaranteed in dowry.

Our conversation went on like this –

Me: toh tujhe bhi utna milega? (Will you be also getting that much?)
Him: haan (Yes)
Me: aur tu lega? (And you’ll take it?)
Him: kyun? humne bhi toh apni behen ki shaadi mein utna diya hai. (Why? Haven’t we also given that much during my sister’s wedding?)
Me: Koi aur kuch bhi karega, toh tu bhi karega? (You’ll do something just because someone else is doing it?)
Him: Arre main thodi maang raha hoon, woh khud se denge. (I’m not asking for it, they will give it on their own)
Me: Toh tu mana kar de. (You refuse)
Him: Nahi, woh mere papa decide karenge. (No, that my dad will decide)
Me: Kyun papa ko bol sakta hai ki yeh bike nahi, woh bike chahiye, par bol nahi sakta ki dahej nahi chahiye? (Why? You can tell your dad which bike you want, but not that you don’t want dowry)
Him: Arre, woh aise nahi chalta yaar. Dahej nahi denge toh kya ladki ko ghar pe bithake rakhenge? Wahan phir koi rishte aate hi nahi hai. (Its doesn’t work that way. What do we do, not give dowry and keep the girl at home itself? Later on there will be no proposals coming her way.)

The argument went on and he pushed it away saying that I act like Jhansi ki Rani , and my Gandhi vichaar (ideologies) will not work in today’s world. It makes me immensely angry, that educated, well to do, working people who can make a difference and put stop to such things, also want to sit back and enjoy the profit. People who can’t afford, have to keep their daughter’s at home. They don’t have a choice, it’s shame, humiliation and frustration for them all the way. Such situations is what leads people to go drown their little daughters in the well even today.

I would want to ask all the educated men out there, who took or intend to take dowry, was calculation, profit and loss the only things you learnt in your education system, wasn’t moral science and values a part of it??

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>Infancy

>My blog turned a year old today. But I wish I had written more posts during the year. Missed out on writing many posts when I had to move to a new city. I was busy with trainings at the work place on one hand and getting used to at home on the other hand. However what I’m happy about is that I didn’t stop blogging and got back on track.

It was easier to stop than continue as with many other things in life. There are times
– when you have nothing to write about.
– when you have lots of ideas but nothing materializes into writing.
– when you start writing but it all stays in your drafts.
– when write and post and then get a feeling its junk.
– when you get a feeling as to what are you doing here? where there are people who write so beautifully.
– when you feel it’s pointless, nobody’s even reading you.

But despite all this there’s are times when you feel you just wanna share what’s on your mind. That’s what makes me continue. I find it absolutely wonderful that people have been blogging for years and the finesse in their writing hasn’t worn out but has only got better. The varied topics that people write about, the kind of responses it draws is all so awesome.

During this week for the first time I happened to visit the blog of IHM and realized how a blog can help people cope with their difficulties, how it can bring strength and how it can be source of tremendous support. I feel sad that I was too late in visiting and reading her daughter’s blog. I could have known her maybe for sometime, could have found a place for myself in her life through the comment space.

Blogging means different things to different people. If you are here reading my posts, do feel free to comment, appreciate or criticize my writing. It would make a lot of difference. If you are a blogger yourself, do let me know what is it that makes you want to blog??

Happy Blogging everyone!!

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Filed under happy, progress, special

>GROWiNg up!!

>Watched dad becoming a kid again…. 😀 😀

He recently joined a fifteen day yoga workshop, which happens to finish today.. Being home for the weekend, I got to talk to him about it.. He suddenly says “Oh god!! I forgot to do my homework!!” and starts searching for some book. I reacted with a puzzled “Homework???”. He then goes on to explain that they were given some homework everyday and quips “Yay!! there’s no homework since today’s the last day“. ( Aaah the simple pleasures…. 🙂 )

We had a rushed visit to my sister’s place to see her and cuddle the little brat. Rushed because my dad had his class at 5:30 in the evening. When he was planning about what time to leave her place, I said it’s enough if we left by 4-4:30. He says “No.. It’ll get late and if I don’t go there before 5.30, they’ll make me stand outside!!“. :O :O :O

On getting back home he told that the workshop had also organized some sort of a 4 day program in some forest near Chitradurga. It’s going to be an isolated stay with no sort of communication with the family/anyone. He asks “Should I go??” and I react with a “No“, like I’m the parent. He agrees and says he’ll return the form. 🙂 🙂 ( I’m sure he agreed coz he had the same thing in his mind… 😛 )

P.S: He was also reciting many of the nursery rhymes (with actions), trying to entertain his grandson. 😀

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>Books and Me

>There were times when I loved reading books… So much, that I used to read it even on the dining table when having dinner and get scolded by dad for doing so. I know, it also depends on the book that you are reading. It should hold your interest. But previously I never lost interest so easily… 😦

 I still love books… I like the feel of new books and old books, the cover, smell of the pages… oh…….!!! 🙂

But sadly though, off late I don’t find enough time and interest in reading a book. I’ve picked up so many books, some still stay untouched and some abandoned midway… 😦

The unread and partially read books on my shelf right now –

  • Sherlock Holmes Volume 1 and 2 – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
  • Jo’s Boys – Louisa May Alcott
  • State of Fear – Micheal Crichton
  • The World of Nagaraj – R.K Narayanan
  • Catch 22 – Joseph Heller
  • The Mouse Trap and the other plays – Agatha Christie

Oh god!! I feel all guilty now… 😦

To add to this I had plans of buying a few more and borrowing the ones that my sis bought recently!! I hope this post will keep reminding me that I shouldn’t do any such thing… 😀

Some people read two books at a time.. :O How do you manage to do that???

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>POLI-TICKS

>Monday morning blues make it hard to go to work. To add to it, what if you are told to reach office early?

Our office campus and my house all lie along the highway, on which also lies a University to which the PM’s visit was scheduled.

To celebrate the occasion, the road is blocked for 3-4 hours and the aam janta is asked to reach office way before time, if they don’t wanna get caught into trouble on the way.. 😛

Even the local trains which DON’T run on the roads are stopped, causing more trouble..

If VIPs are visiting the place, kindly beef up the security, check the identity of the people prior to letting them into the venue, check the contents they carry. But please stop bothering the public by blocking roads and traffic for 3-4 hours, when the to and fro journey for the VIP would at the max take an hour…

It irritates me to see that the public are put to so much trouble whenever any political meeting, event, conference, rally etc is happening. I have seen similar and worse situations in Bangalore as well. So much to democracy, which is “by the people, of the people and FOR the people”!!! x-(

PS: The PM finally came by a helicopter to the venue :-/

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