Back again!

Hmm.. Long time, no see.. πŸ˜€

Where do I begin?

Work’s been crazy with coming home late and worrying about finishing things. Mood hasn’t been too great either. Most importantly I have been plain lazy and procrastinating. πŸ˜€

Lately the feeling of ‘I’m not doing anything great’ has been eating me up at work. I agree long hours are going into working hard. But there is no satisfaction with the work I’m doing. I am not sure if many people feel the same or if it’s just me? The feeling of wanting to changing my module or domain of work is increasing. The woes related to transfer and finding a new job are too long to write about. 😦

All my hobbies and interests are all almost lost. I have more than half a dozen books, left unread. Crocheted works, left unfinished. In order to boost myself up, I signed up on Ravelry for a birthday exchange swap. There are 21 of us. The rules of the swap are that, on every individual’s b’day the remaining 20 are supposed to work on and send a package as gift. This should contain a store bought item, a hand made item and an item specific to our state.

I started working on the things to be made for the January b’day ladies and slowly the fear of whether I can finish is creeping in. I don’t wanna disappoint them. Damn! I will be so disappointed myself. 😦

What’s happening around me? More, more and more people I know getting married. You ask, what effect does that have on me? More, more and more pressure at home for me to get married too. 😦 I don’t know how to explain. But everytime the topic comes up, I get upset, worked up, angry etc.

I am scared and sort of hate the whole process of having to go take a photograph, meet someone whom I don’t know at all and think about spending my entire life with that person and a new family. I know, I maybe over reacting too much and that there are a whole lot of people who will tell me it’s not that bad. But still, as happy as I am about attending all the friends’ wedding, I am scared about my own.

The year is drawing to a close so rapidly. Where did the days fly? Why does it fly so soon? All my last year’s resolutions areΒ  left abandoned. Some which I lived upto for a long time, some which never took off and some which was given up on the way. πŸ˜‰

The new year fast approaches and to me it brings new questions, new situations, new resolutions and may be some new forms of pain and happiness. All that I can today from where I stand, is to wait and watch.

 

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1 Comment

Filed under beginning, end, justMe

One response to “Back again!

  1. Anu

    hmmm… there is nothing to be scared about… I agree that everyone is a little apprehensive…but it’s ok. I’m sure things’ll turn out to be great in the new year!! πŸ™‚
    Time to do the customary year-end round-up post?

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