Him & Her

I try not to be too feminist in my opinions. I always try and think from the men’s point of view too. When I have friends arguing, with girls telling about how totally selfish men are and guys pointing at how money minded women are, I always try and speak objectively giving both of them examples of how the other one could be wrong too. But when things keep continuously going wrong in the life of close friends, one loses faith and one feels like flushing all the positive opinions down the drain.

Marriage is probably one of the institutions whose sanctity has been maintained over the years. Though there’s a lot of change in the trend, people still have faith in it in our country. The least a girl expects from a partner is to for him to understand and support her. An emotional support. Though the general opinion is the girls choose money over other things, I strongly believe and know that what girls look for is care. Girls are brought up in a more gentle manner and generally showered with a lot of love from their father, which is why they have similar expectations from their guy.

The guys on the other hand I feel are a lot less emotional (sometimes too hurtingly practical). Crying seems dramatic to them. They subdue their emotions. Some smoke, some drink and some get angered. Their ways to vent out the emotions I guess! Isn’t crying a lot less dangerous?? 🙂

I am bogged by all these thoughts because two close friends of mine, both girls, are facing different kinds of issues, even before their marriage. Well, one’s arranged and one’s a love cum arranged marriage (just as a clarification before you think on the love-arranged marriage theory, if you believe in it). The arranged marriage couple got ample time before the wedding to get to know each other. I think that was a great opportunity for them. But the guy acts all weird. He gets all worked up on her expectations, even the tiniest of them. But he wants her to behave in a certain manner that he expects. He’s loud mouthed and doesn’t bother about being in a public place too, when raising his voice. Due to all the contradictions that they have, they kept fighting and the matter came to the parents. Now it stands at a point where the parents say it’s too late and that the cards are printed and the couple trying to put up with each other.

The love marriage couple on the other hand know each other from 5 years. Yet, the guy blames the girl for the wedding getting arranged so early and not at the year end. The financial aspect of his concern is valid, but blaming the girl isn’t. The girl’s 26 and was facing a lot of parental pressure alongwith the family problems. She withstood all that for two years so that the guy gets enough time. Isn’t it his responsibility to take things in his stride and try not to make things more difficult for the girl, if he can’t make it any easier. After all this, he doesn’t want the girl to shift to the city where he is after marriage. He wants her to continue to stay in her current city till the end of this year. This he says gives him more time to earn enough money to take up/set up a rented house. Personally, I believe home is where the heart is, if they have each other I feel they could manage for a while with the basic necessities and gradually set up the house in a better manner.

Both these cases the girls are now unhappy, when all they expected was care, a few loving words and the partner’s companionship. If such are the ways of the world, the already scared me is getting more apprehensive about the guy I would meet. I sincerely wish, that women become more stronger and the men more emotional. Too much to wish for, is it?? 🙂

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Filed under belief, friends, inMyOpinion, random, wishes

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