Guess it’s time I improved my conversational skills. It takes me a really long time to get going. Writing my thoughts here, I feel, is far simpler for me. But off late I have had problems with that too. Previously, if I thought about writing something, thoughts would flow easily. There were times when at the end of publishing a post, I would realize I left out writing some more things. I wish speaking was that easy.
I figure out that making a conversation is difficult for me as I would have already had that conversation a million times in my head. By the time I actually get to speaking, I would be all exhausted by the overworking mind! Starting a conversation is one of the most difficult things for me. If it’s another person doing it and the topic is of my interest, then my words start flowing. If it is a friend whom I am talking to and they speak of their concerns or problems or happiness, I always listen. I end up generally listening and not sharing my stuff. If it’s some conversation which doesn’t interest me, I choose to ignore it and swim deeply in my thoughts, adding a hmm, oh!, ok…, is it? and so on.. 😀 It helps, if we are in a group or on on phone, then I need not even keep looking at the person. 😛
Nowadays I have lost the enthu to talk and to write. A couple of unfinished posts lying in my drafts. Some how the continuity breaks and then I don’t feel like getting back to it. I was the sort of a person who used to argue a lot, if it was something that I don’t believe in or agree to. Nowadays there’s no zeal for that either. I start feeling there’s no point arguing and give it up, just become silent. I don’t feel like calling up friends and long conversations on the phone tire me and make me irritable. Sometimes feel, days without a cell phone were a bliss!
I am not sure, how long this phase is going to last. Not even sure, if it’s just a phase. 😐
So, what have you been upto? Care to give me any tips?
I always thought I would feel elated when I am back home. Seems different although. Not that I am not happy, it’s mixed feelings. I am happy to be home with my family, be in my room, on my bed, eat mum made food. I get to see my nephew more often, play with him more. This way there’s not chance of him forgetting me. 🙂 I haven’t written baby posts in a looong time. Whenever I think of doing it, he out-beats me by learning newer stuff, doing newer things. 😛 I get to meet all my old friends, I get to roam in my favorite streets, eat from my favorite joints.
But I am missing so many things from back there. The freedom, the friends, the close distance to office. There it used to take me 40 min to 1 hour in a day for commute. Here it is almost 3.5 to 4 hours. 😦 The hours at office never seemed enough there. I worked for 10-12 hours consistently from the past six months in Chennai and liked it. Here the day at office seems to drag, with me waiting for it to be tea time. The entire team used to be chattering there. Now we, the two birds who flew away from the flock, keep waiting for the others to ping us. 😐
One welcoming thing here was the rain. It rained heavily last evening and the feeling was great. Though it caused traffic jams and delays, the rain is always welcome. Also, here I get the time to do, what at some point of time loved the most… Read… The long journey in the bus gives me enough time to read, I finished close to 50 pages today. 🙂 I am currently reading “Tuesday’s with Morrie” by Mitch Albom and have nearly a dozen books waiting for me on my shelf. Also, there are a couple of weddings of close friends that are lined up in the coming week and that’s something I really looking forward to. 🙂
I know I have been writing only about Chennai and me moving back in the past few posts. I hope I come around soon and write something else too…
Don’t most of us always try to present a happy picture of ourselves everywhere? We upload pics where we look best. We write posts about the fun holiday we had, the great day we had and how hunky-dory everything is. But everyone has problems and seldom do we share them, least of all to strangers. Probably that’s why blogging about stuff that make you sad or portrays a different side of you is difficult.
All or most of us have the usual problems, the fights at home, the cranky kids, the horrible boss, the work pressure, the nagging wife, the dominant husband etc. We seldom share the sorrowful stories. I guess in a way it’s better, as they say ” Write your hurts on sand and carve your benefits on stone “, for obvious reasons.
The more people you interact with, you will find that the others too have been through bad times and have been equally hurt and sorrowful at different times. You find that their problems if not same could be similar and sometimes bigger. But there are people who manage and present themselves magnificently even in tough times. Really admirable. It takes a lot of strength to do so.
Days are dull and energy is low. One of the times when everything seems bleak and tiny things bother. When you keep questioning and interrogating yourself for everything you do, beating yourself up by your thoughts. Looking forward to a refreshing break which will probably charge me to be up and ready for any forthcoming challenges.
Filed under cloudy, random
>Far too many things changed in the last few months. It takes time for me to make friends… I was lucky to get a good bunch of friends at office. But with all of them getting transferred one after the other, there’s hardly anyone left. When this was happening, I happened to mention to my roommate that the only thing left is for my roommates to get transferred and I will be left alone :(. Behold!! The following week my roomie tells me she’s getting transferred too… 😦
Home sickness is another thing that I’m dealing with. I start feeling dull if it’s nearly two weeks since I’ve gone home. Off late the longing to visit home had increased.. To play with the little one, to listen to his sounds and just to watch him sleep. The little one is going his house today :(. Now it’ll have to be a few hours visit to their place to have a look at him.. How I wish he could stay with us always…
To add to this, after putting in nearly five months of efforts in the current project at office, just when we were getting the feeling of having become a part of the project, just when we started learning a few things about the product, we were told that they are moving out the freshers to other projects, due to some issues. After having worked for more than a year in b’lore I had to join as a fresher at the current workplace.. Now this change is happening here. What do I do??
Feeling low and helpless.. 😦
Filed under cloudy, dilemma
>Not all days are bright and sunny, there are dull and cloudy ones too. Days when you have no energy, no hope and no enthusiasm. Days when you feel, “why does it happen to me all the time??”. What one needs to know is that one is not alone. Every individual goes through the same…
Words of advice aren’t scarce, one keeps getting them from all directions. Words of comfort, is what the heart longs for… The spoken words may not be new. Its just the feeling, that the “words understand you” and not “you understand the words”.
“Jo karna, uska naam kya?” (How does it matter by what name you call something that you have to do?)
What you can do is, smile and do it and be happy or crib and do it and be grumpy!! Something you’ve heard before, haven’t you? But these words made me feel better today!! 🙂
No matter how good or bad the time is today, “this too shall pass” (Yeh waqt bhi guzar jaayega).
Filed under cloudy, justMe