Category Archives: moods

Nothing but change is constant

When will I learn, that everything will change. It will!

People, whom you love the most. They change. They have to. To adapt to various things happening in their life. For them to be happy. They have to change to cope with things. Nobody wants to be miserable. In the yearn to be happy, all of us modify ourselves.

Situations, which you are comfortable in, changes. The job, which you had been doing well in. The colleagues, who were more than that, they were best friends. New policies come up, projects come to an end, people are left jobless, all the friends quit to get new jobs and you are left alone because you are in a situation where you cannot switch jobs right now.

Work, it’s so boring without the team. The enthusiasm to stay late and the zeal to work is there when there are others accompanying you. Releases nearing seem fun only when you are planning for an outing with the team after it. Meetings are fun when you keep seeing each other, pinging nonsense, totally not listening to guy conducting it. 😀 You listen sadly over a call when the team celebrates a birthday 350 km away. 😐 Every day at work holds out the change after the transfer, in your face!

Friends can’t be around when you are getting married, coz you are the last one to be getting married. Some girls are already married and have moved to different countries, guys have gone abroad to study, friends from the North will be home for Diwali (the only time they can get a long leave) and the rest of them are busy with the preparation for their own wedding which is just around the same time. 😦

Family, people who were busy shouting at you to get married, are running about for it’s preparation. In dealing with work and additional responsibilities, there’s no time left. Everything in the house, the objects, the room, the books everything seems so special, now that I have to part with it.

Changes suck! I have always hated them. 😡 Like I was telling to a friend the other day, just when you adapt yourself to it, life sticks it’s tongue out at you and chooses to go in it’s own direction. There you are left again, wishing things remain how it were before. 😦

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Filed under beginning, life, moods

Conversations and me

Guess it’s time I improved my conversational skills. It takes me a really long time to get going. Writing my thoughts here, I feel, is far simpler for me. But off late I have had problems with that too. Previously, if I thought about writing something, thoughts would flow easily.  There were times when at the end of publishing a post, I would realize I left out writing some more things. I wish speaking was that easy.

I figure out that making a conversation is difficult for me as I would have already had that conversation a million times in my head. By the time I actually get to speaking, I would be all exhausted  by the overworking mind! Starting a conversation is one of the most difficult things for me. If it’s another person doing it and the topic is of my interest, then my words start flowing. If it is a friend whom I am talking to and they speak of their concerns or problems or happiness, I always listen. I end up generally listening and not sharing my stuff. If it’s some conversation which doesn’t interest me, I choose to ignore it and swim deeply in my thoughts, adding a hmm, oh!, ok…, is it? and so on.. 😀 It helps, if we are in a group or on on phone, then I need not even keep looking at the person. 😛

Nowadays I have lost the enthu to talk and to write. A couple of unfinished posts lying in my drafts. Some how the continuity breaks and then I don’t feel like getting back to it. I was the sort of a person who used to argue a lot, if it was something that I don’t believe in or agree to. Nowadays there’s no zeal for that either. I start feeling there’s no point arguing and give it up, just become silent. I don’t feel like calling up friends and long conversations on the phone tire me and make me irritable. Sometimes feel, days without a cell phone were a bliss!

I am not sure, how long this phase is going to last. Not even sure, if it’s just a phase. 😐

So, what have you been upto? Care to give me any tips?

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Filed under cloudy, justMe, moods