Category Archives: wishes

I wish I was a guy…

… for the thrill of riding a bike.

… so that I could pull off playing Counter Strike all night and clearing the exam next day.

… so that I don’t get a call when the time exceeds 7.30, every time I’m out with friends.

… so that I can just go out for a ride/walk, not bothering about the time, when I’m mad at someone.

… so that I don’t have random stranger guys staring at me, with it making no difference to them, that I know.

… for being able to sit, with no thoughts running in my head.

… so that my biggest worry is not my tomorrow, but the result of the cricket match final tonight.

… so that I can go trekking and road trips at any time of the year.

… for not being bothered about my overgrown brows or the hair on my hand.

… so that I don’t have to leave my mom and go away, just because I got married.

… so that I am not judged for wearing western clothes and not knowing cooking.

… for having a night out at my friend’s place and not being questioned for it.

… so that I am not subjected to eve-teasing.

… so that my parents don’t have to pay dowry or arrange a big fat wedding for me.

… so that I don’t handle gadgets like puppies.

… so that I can sleep till late on a weekend. 🙂

P.S: I know, the grass on the other side is always greener. 🙂 No offense meant to anyone.

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Filed under gal, justMe, wishes

Him & Her

I try not to be too feminist in my opinions. I always try and think from the men’s point of view too. When I have friends arguing, with girls telling about how totally selfish men are and guys pointing at how money minded women are, I always try and speak objectively giving both of them examples of how the other one could be wrong too. But when things keep continuously going wrong in the life of close friends, one loses faith and one feels like flushing all the positive opinions down the drain.

Marriage is probably one of the institutions whose sanctity has been maintained over the years. Though there’s a lot of change in the trend, people still have faith in it in our country. The least a girl expects from a partner is to for him to understand and support her. An emotional support. Though the general opinion is the girls choose money over other things, I strongly believe and know that what girls look for is care. Girls are brought up in a more gentle manner and generally showered with a lot of love from their father, which is why they have similar expectations from their guy.

The guys on the other hand I feel are a lot less emotional (sometimes too hurtingly practical). Crying seems dramatic to them. They subdue their emotions. Some smoke, some drink and some get angered. Their ways to vent out the emotions I guess! Isn’t crying a lot less dangerous?? 🙂

I am bogged by all these thoughts because two close friends of mine, both girls, are facing different kinds of issues, even before their marriage. Well, one’s arranged and one’s a love cum arranged marriage (just as a clarification before you think on the love-arranged marriage theory, if you believe in it). The arranged marriage couple got ample time before the wedding to get to know each other. I think that was a great opportunity for them. But the guy acts all weird. He gets all worked up on her expectations, even the tiniest of them. But he wants her to behave in a certain manner that he expects. He’s loud mouthed and doesn’t bother about being in a public place too, when raising his voice. Due to all the contradictions that they have, they kept fighting and the matter came to the parents. Now it stands at a point where the parents say it’s too late and that the cards are printed and the couple trying to put up with each other.

The love marriage couple on the other hand know each other from 5 years. Yet, the guy blames the girl for the wedding getting arranged so early and not at the year end. The financial aspect of his concern is valid, but blaming the girl isn’t. The girl’s 26 and was facing a lot of parental pressure alongwith the family problems. She withstood all that for two years so that the guy gets enough time. Isn’t it his responsibility to take things in his stride and try not to make things more difficult for the girl, if he can’t make it any easier. After all this, he doesn’t want the girl to shift to the city where he is after marriage. He wants her to continue to stay in her current city till the end of this year. This he says gives him more time to earn enough money to take up/set up a rented house. Personally, I believe home is where the heart is, if they have each other I feel they could manage for a while with the basic necessities and gradually set up the house in a better manner.

Both these cases the girls are now unhappy, when all they expected was care, a few loving words and the partner’s companionship. If such are the ways of the world, the already scared me is getting more apprehensive about the guy I would meet. I sincerely wish, that women become more stronger and the men more emotional. Too much to wish for, is it?? 🙂

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Filed under belief, friends, inMyOpinion, random, wishes

Passion…

…is defined by Wikipedia as a very strong feeling for a person or thing… Well… I am talking about the thing not the person.. 😛

What’s your passion in life? What’s that one thing which interests you? What is it that you wanna do or be in life? I really admire people who actually identify this and achieve it. The people who are happy in the work they do. It’s not stressful but enjoyable to them. Majority of us get caught in the rat race from the start. From having to score the highest in class during schooling to bagging a job which offers a high pay. How many of us spend time on evaluating our strengths and deciding the right career path? How many parents today identify the child’s skill and encourage it.

Finally when we do end up in a well paid but regular job, we get caught in the routine and the frustration gets to us. I am probably in that phase. I do like programming and logical challenges. But now I am constantly bothered by the question, is this what I would want to do all my life? To top it, I’m just a couple of years into my career. Is this just a passing phase? Does everyone go through it? Even if it is, what bothers me is that I’ll just settle for it and keep compromising all my life just like how it is with another umpteen things in life.

How do I identify what’ll make me happy? Professions like Architecture, Writing, Editing, Journalism etc always interested me. Sadly I never had the courage to think on it and pursue any of it. Its not just me, I hear it from a lot of my friends too. One of them has a passion for dancing, she even wants to quit and start teaching dance. She’s just worried if what she’s thinking is right and is unable to decide on it. Most of the people whom I talk to are unhappy in their jobs. There are all kinds… One having a bad boss, one wanting to do further studies but bothered about the fee, one wanting to get married and one who wants to get a job, post marriage.

I guess I cannot change my profession now. Instead what I am trying to do is spending time on other things which will give me a break from the routine. Cooking, reading, crocheting, are some of them. Few other things which have been on my wish list for long are, to learn to drive a car, gardening, to join singing classes again.

Kudos to people who are happy and enjoy what they do. For the ones who are yet to start, I would like to say take up something you are passionate about. For the rest, the ones like me – it’s never too late they say. What say? We do something about it??

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>Green or Gray??

>All I had heard before coming here is that rains in Chennai are scarce. Lasts for a week or so and occurs in October… But it has been raining here intermittently since November . Infact the cyclonic effect resulted in rains for three continuous days with places getting filled with knee deep water and we getting an off from work 😀

A pleasant surprise was the chilly weather we experienced for a few days… I know the deadly summer’s gonna be back soon, but why not enjoy the days as long as they last.

When I talk of rains I miss Bangalore so much. One amongst the many things I love about b’lore is that it rains unexpectedly. Just when the heat is getting intolerable, the rain gods shower their mercy on the city for a day or so. The trees and plants start looking beautifully green with all the dust getting washed off them. 🙂

Its such a pity that the city is now getting robbed of its beauty in the name of improving the city’s infrastructure, the new roads and the Metro rail. Lovely roads which were lined with trees nearly a century old, now stand bare and dusty. All you can find now is the cement, dust and heat 😦

Not long back, I had read an article in the newspaper in which Arundhati Nag had told that the late Shankar Nag had prepared a full fletched plan along with the sketch of how the underground Metro project could be executed in Bangalore, without affecting the greenery of the city. That project never got the required support from the government and never saw the light of the day. What if it had?? Probably things would have been different…

I have an interest in plants and gardening myself, which has taken a backseat. I remember the days when we lived in the quarters of the IIMB campus. Our garden had a variety of fruit bearing trees including mango, jackfruit, lemon, pomegranate, coconut, chickoo, guava etc. Also roses of all colours and a variety of hibiscus flowers could be found. All of it now seems like a scence out of a novel :). My dad used to take regular and really good care of it. On moving to a different house all we were left with were a few potted plants… 😦

Some day.. I wish to have and maintain a small garden of my own. Maybe in an attempt to try and preserve the beauty of the city in my own little way… 🙂

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Filed under Chennai, nammaBengaluru, wishes

>Winter to Spring

>One of the things I’ve always wished for is to stay away from home atleast for sometime, either for studies or for work. I feel its a learning experience all by itself. Had never got a chance until now. Also when its happening now, I am going through a sort of mixed emotion. I guess its natural too..

I shall be moving to Chennai (hopefully only for a few months)  in less than 10 days, for a new job. It was totally unexpected and one of the rarest occurrences where I’ve been lucky. 🙂 I was born and brought up in Bangalore and I simply LOVE the city. I agree it has its flaws, but nothing till now has been able to change my love for the city. My friends tell me its probably because I haven’t seen many places. But I don’t agree. I think its because I am too attached to this place. Having been here for 20+ years, nothing but Bangalore can be home to me. The thought of having to live away from here and live in a city to which I am a stranger is a scary and saddening.. 😦

The sadness of having to stay away from parents at the time that they actually need their children around cannot be expressed in words. The only thing that I tell them and myself in consolation is that they’ll be grandparents few months down the line and that they’ll have so much fun with their granddaughter/grandson that they’ll not even remember me.. 😛 Seeing my mom’s sad and dad’s tired face brings tears to me. But I can only hope that staying away for sometime may make, me love them and they love me more… 😀

Accompanied with it is a feeling of loss, to be leaving the current workplace, which is probably the best and safest to be in, both in terms of learning and the people. The kind of friendly and lovable people I’ve met here are probably hard to find in the corporate world. I hadn’t felt much when having to leave college, quite unlike others. The sadness I am feeling, for having to leave this workplace is almost the same as what I had felt when leaving school… 😦

There’s some excitement and happiness too.. 🙂 Happiness, that an unexpected wish came true.. Excitement of having to go and live, work and cope with everything myself. A sense of independence and responsibility which feels great. 🙂

Also is the fear of whether I’ll be accepted in the new place, whether I’ll be good at the new work, whether I’ll find true friends as good as the old ones… All these feeling leave me drained. I hope things go through smoothly and I do my best. I know its just a few hours journey to home. It’ll be a thing to look forward to. 🙂

You must be wondering what’s the relation between the title of the post and the post itself. Its just that I’m feeling like it is the transition from winter to spring, where the tree sheds all its leaves and slowly in some days the new ones start to spring out. I probably need to shed or leave behind the old things and start afresh and blossom in a new place… 🙂

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Filed under beginning, nammaBengaluru, wishes

>The long planned trip

>In the past few weeks all my week days have been spent at work and the weekends in traveling, with no time and energy left to blog…

Talking of traveling… I had gone to Mangalore during the last weekend and Chennai in the weekend before that. Though the Chennai trip was an official one, with the my teammates and me having gone to attend a meeting, we happened to spare a few hours and visit a beach nearby. Its called the Besant Nagar beach. The last time I had been to Chennai I had visited the Marina beach and was awed by how huge it was. But the it was crowded and was all filthy with the people making the shore a dustbin for their convenience. But the Besant Nagar beach that we visited this time was much nicer, though smaller. It was a lot more cleaner and less crowded. We spent an hour or more, playing in the water and clicking pictures. The waves were a little high, it being a full moon day… We had to leave soon as we had to get back to the guest house..

The Mangalore trip had been a long planned and postponed one.. I had never gone for a trip with my friends until I joined work. Even the trips that I went for after work were all official, with us sneaking out some time to roam around. I always longed to go for a trip with friends… The Mangalore trip plan dates back to nearly an year, with initially the location being Mysore and not Mangalore.. 😀 The plan was made when my dear friend ‘A’ was in Mysore for training in her company. But with she having tests or one of us having some other thing on hand, the plan never got executed. Subsequently ‘A’ was posted in Mangalore and to add to it another close friend ‘P’ also worked in Mangalore. So now the people nagging us to come there… had doubled!! There began the Mangalore trip plan…

The usual postponing kept happening, with me having an exam, with my friend ‘B’ being on call on weekends and with ‘D’ having other works. If not these… come long weekends ‘A’ and ‘P’ would come to be in Bangalore with their family.. Somehow things never worked out.. My exam got over and B’s senior returned making her free during alternate weekends. ‘D’ agreed too.. 🙂 We fixed the first weekend of March, as the days for the trip. ‘B’ suddenly realizes that she’s on call that weekend 😛 … I request her to swap the days for another weekend with her senior, and… she does… Cool!!! 🙂   ‘D’ informs she has an appointment on that weekend and asks us to postpone the trip again…!! But ‘B’ couldn’t swap again and we didn’t wanna postpone it further as come April it would get hotter…!!! So… ‘D’ dropped out of the plan.. 😦

Finally me and ‘B’ made it to Mangalore… only to realize that P’s working on the weekend and is not free.. 😛 Well.. we did blast him and took revenge by making him feel guilty for having made us come and he not being free!! We stayed at A’s place… Roamed around with her and her roomies, two really nice and friendly people.. 🙂 We went to beaches and temples and an island.. 🙂 We went for the scary Banana Ride, where we were thrown of into the middle of the sea water!! :O (hehehe 😀 but we had life jackets on!!) It was scary initially and when we heard that its not once but thrice that we’ll be nearly drowned in water.. :O But once done.. we felt like we had climbed K2… 😀 It was a wonderful feeling… 🙂  The coward ‘A’ looked on… taking pictures and riding happily on the boat.. 😛 (but if not for her, we probably would have had no pictures of the ride… :D)

‘P’ could only make time to meet us in the evening and have dinner with us… But atleast he did that.. Else we would have killed him!! All in all it was an awesome trip, with us left longing for more.. 🙂 Great time and great fun!! 😀 In a way it was a right decision not to postpone the trip as there have been certain recent developments (about which I’ll blog later 🙂 ) which would have probably made us cancel the trip!! All’s well that ends well… 🙂

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>Babbling Begins…

>I have been thinking of starting a blog for quite sometime now. But I’ve been really apprehensive about it, just like how I am before starting anything new. Speaking of my apprehensions, pessimism and inferiority complex, the fact that I am actually writing this post is a HUGE achievement…

I needed this sort of a breakthrough for myself :). It might not mean anything to anybody who reads this. In fact there might be reactions like “Big deal!! Lets see for how long she manages to do it..” Sincerely I don’t know…

– I don’t know if this is just a passing phase
– I don’t know if I will want to do this always
– I don’t know if my posts will even be interesting 😛

But… Its MY blog. So.. I’m gonna post when I want and stop when I want 😀 . So if there’s anybody interested in reading, Welcome!! and if you read this and you aren’t interested, No Problem.. Thank you and Ta-ta!!

Its a different thing to have something in your mind and a completely different thing to put it into words.. I’ll try my best. 🙂 I hope I do a fair job… 🙂

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Filed under beginning, wishes