Jaago re!

It’s madness, utter madness!

We compare ourselves to the big nations, talk about getting there, talk about how much progress we are making in technologies and urbanization. Yet, there is a lacking in the basic civic sense in human beings. We are all aware as to how some people live totally oblivious to the fact that their surroundings aren’t clean or that they are spitting on the same roads that they would be walking on. No matter how much the Government does wrt such issues, unless the people themselves feel the need, I don’t think anything will change.

The Government of Karnataka and TamilNadu (I speak for these states only, as I have lived there) have hired professional painters and got the walls along so many streets painted with beautiful paintings depicting the state’s customs, art and other cultural facets. All this done because there are people who go around sticking bills/posters on every free wall, there are people who care a damn and pee on every other wall. This was done to prevent them.

Two incidents today left me enraged! Both related to the crowd in the major bus stands. There’s a huge rush during the peak hours at bus stands, esp for the buses going towards IT Parks, situated in different parts of the city. I try and start early to beat the heat and avoid the crowd. Today, I was late by 15 min. The crowd on my platform was high. I missed about four buses waiting for the crowd to reduce. But people just kept coming and coming. Finally, when I decided to get on a bus, there was a mad rush at the door with people shoving and pushing each other. I was feeling helpless just wanting to get out of it. Then, someone pinched my backside. Bloody hell! Being a woman, I’ve seen many such situations. It’s not the first time when some stranger misbehaved with me. Generally it’s some for of eve-teasing, trying to come close in a crowded bus, trying touch when in a crowd. But this was outrageous!

I turned around and instantly recognized the jerk from his expression and body language. I punched him once on his arm and before I could blast him or give him a few more punches, he started making his way out of the crowd and ran. I followed him, but he escaped. If I had caught hold of him, I would have gotten him beaten black and blue.

The thing of utmost disgust was that he was a professional, probably on his way to office, with a neat laptop backpack on him. It’s a shame on such people and their behavior. Not for a second do they stop and think about the girl. Wouldn’t the same sort of things be happening to their sisters/mother. If their family is of concern to them, aren’t other girls also a part of some family. I am totally disgusted and tired of people behaving in such a manner with women. Instead of handling such situations, political leaders comment about the dressing sense of women. Harayana women and child development department recently declared that jeans and t-shirt is an indecent form of clothing for their women employees. What such people need to realize is that, a salwar-kameez or jeans-tshirt is not a criteria for such misbehaving people, they will continue to do the same.

The evening crowd was equally maddening, with the people not even letting the others on the bus alight. They were pushing their way amidst that. I was pushed to the edge of the bus door and nearly crushed. I was left with a red mark and pain for quite a while on my arm. I would say, the queue system has never been followed or respected in our country. People don’t realize that being organized will get the things done faster and better. The Govt. has provided numerous buses for the busy routes. The buses are of great quality and scheduled at regular frequency. Yet, the rush for the seats and the unruly behavior doesn’t stop. If you are a person, who thinks about the system and rules and how to behave, all that happens to you, is that you get crushed. Nobody would even bother about it. Saddening, but true..

Really, will India ever be developed, in the true sense?

Ball Lily

There was something orangish peeping out from between the neighbor’s plants.

 

Took a closer look to find out that it was the May flower! It’s called so, because it blooms only in the month of May in the entire year.. I read that it’s called Ball Lily!

So fascinating and beautiful! Isn’t it?

Moving Back..

I always thought I would feel elated when I am back home. Seems different although. Not that I am not happy, it’s mixed feelings. I am happy to be home with my family, be in my room, on my bed, eat mum made food. I get to see my nephew more often, play with him more. This way there’s not chance of him forgetting me.   I haven’t written baby posts in a looong time. Whenever I think of doing it, he out-beats me by learning newer stuff, doing newer things. I get to meet all my old friends, I get to roam in my favorite streets, eat from my favorite joints.

But I am missing so many things from back there. The freedom, the friends, the close distance to office. There it used to take me 40 min to 1 hour in a day for commute. Here it is almost 3.5 to 4 hours. The hours at office never seemed enough there. I worked for 10-12 hours consistently from the past six months in Chennai and liked it. Here the day at office seems to drag, with me waiting for it to be tea time. The entire team used to be chattering there. Now we, the two birds who flew away from the flock, keep waiting for the others to ping us.

One welcoming thing here was the rain. It rained heavily last evening and the feeling was great. Though it caused traffic jams and delays, the rain is always welcome. Also, here I get the time to do, what at some point of time loved the most… Read… The long journey in the bus gives me enough time to read, I finished close to 50 pages today. I am currently reading “Tuesday’s with Morrie” by Mitch Albom and have nearly a dozen books waiting for me on my shelf. Also, there are a couple of weddings of close friends that are lined up in the coming week and that’s something I really looking forward to.

I know I have been writing only about Chennai and me moving back in the past few posts. I hope I come around soon and write something else too…

The last few…

The last bits of everything always seem the best -

• The last spoon of melting ice-cream.
• The last chatkara of achaar.
• The last spray from a perfume bottle.
• The last pages of a book.
• The last lines of a letter saying, “with love”.
• The climax of a movie?
• The lasting words in a speech.
• The last few balls in an over.
• The last days of college.
• The last episodes of your favorite sitcom/show.
• The last days of bachelor/spinster-hood.
• The last few kilometers on a tour/journey.

The last few days in Chennai….

Rail Gaadi

I had written this post few days back when I was traveling in the train. Forgot to post it though!

As I sit in the local train on the way to the central station, I realize that it has been two years here, with the constant to and fro between the two cities. Catching the 8.30 or 9 pm local train after office and reaching the Central station, to catch the late night train home. But what I also realize is that I’ve never written a post on my train travel experiences.

The fact of having local trains to commute and having beaches to visit are the few things that I looked forward to when I first came to this city. I envied cities like Chennai and Mumbai for having local trains. It makes life so easier than the crowded buses. My happiness knew no bounds when the Metro was launched in Bangalore. I am eagerly waiting for the other lines of Metro to be completed. Doesn’t seem like it’s gonna happen anytime soon.

Come to think of it, in these two years I never took the local train to office on a daily basis, thanks to the office being close and the station being far. But in whatever minimal travel I have done, I have had some good experiences. The first day here at Chennai was the day I returned by the last train home. It was around 11.15 or so. After dropping my parents at station where they took a train back home, I went on to meet my roommates who were shopping. Being typical girls they shopped till late night, by the time we finished dinner it was time for the last train! I was a little scared, for it was just the first day. But, that was the only time we ever took it.

Traveling for nearly 2 hrs every single time to the city, just to a watch movie in the weekend! Phew! Traveling in an almost empty train at 4.30 on a Monday morning, when I’ve come from Bangalore, just wanting to rush home and catch some sleep before I head to office. Traveling in a jam packed train where you are scared that you’ll miss getting down at your station, due to the crowd at the door. Experienced all varieties.

What’s more varied are the kind of people you see or meet. The bunch of young software engineers who have come from different parts of the country to work here, all headed home on a Friday evening. The group of college/school going girls giggling and chattering away. The newly married couple, with lady wearing shining new jewelry. Mothers trying to control their mischievous children. The vendors who get into the compartments to sell their fruits, vegetables and greens.  All in a hurry to get their work done and go home, tired from the heat and humidity.

The familiar dimming of lights before the two main stations reminds me of a funny comment that a friend made. The comment was, “the dimming of lights rightly indicate the station ahead to the people only when travelling in one direction. In the other direction it’s like telling the people, haha! You missed it..”

The struggle to get tickets in tatkal and the huge crowds in the trains and stations always leaves me wondering and asking “where are all these people going?” All in all, it has been fun and it’s one of things I am definitely gonna miss when I move back to Bangalore.

Him & Her

I try not to be too feminist in my opinions. I always try and think from the men’s point of view too. When I have friends arguing, with girls telling about how totally selfish men are and guys pointing at how money minded women are, I always try and speak objectively giving both of them examples of how the other one could be wrong too. But when things keep continuously going wrong in the life of close friends, one loses faith and one feels like flushing all the positive opinions down the drain.

Marriage is probably one of the institutions whose sanctity has been maintained over the years. Though there’s a lot of change in the trend, people still have faith in it in our country. The least a girl expects from a partner is to for him to understand and support her. An emotional support. Though the general opinion is the girls choose money over other things, I strongly believe and know that what girls look for is care. Girls are brought up in a more gentle manner and generally showered with a lot of love from their father, which is why they have similar expectations from their guy.

The guys on the other hand I feel are a lot less emotional (sometimes too hurtingly practical). Crying seems dramatic to them. They subdue their emotions. Some smoke, some drink and some get angered. Their ways to vent out the emotions I guess! Isn’t crying a lot less dangerous??

I am bogged by all these thoughts because two close friends of mine, both girls, are facing different kinds of issues, even before their marriage. Well, one’s arranged and one’s a love cum arranged marriage (just as a clarification before you think on the love-arranged marriage theory, if you believe in it). The arranged marriage couple got ample time before the wedding to get to know each other. I think that was a great opportunity for them. But the guy acts all weird. He gets all worked up on her expectations, even the tiniest of them. But he wants her to behave in a certain manner that he expects. He’s loud mouthed and doesn’t bother about being in a public place too, when raising his voice. Due to all the contradictions that they have, they kept fighting and the matter came to the parents. Now it stands at a point where the parents say it’s too late and that the cards are printed and the couple trying to put up with each other.

The love marriage couple on the other hand know each other from 5 years. Yet, the guy blames the girl for the wedding getting arranged so early and not at the year end. The financial aspect of his concern is valid, but blaming the girl isn’t. The girl’s 26 and was facing a lot of parental pressure alongwith the family problems. She withstood all that for two years so that the guy gets enough time. Isn’t it his responsibility to take things in his stride and try not to make things more difficult for the girl, if he can’t make it any easier. After all this, he doesn’t want the girl to shift to the city where he is after marriage. He wants her to continue to stay in her current city till the end of this year. This he says gives him more time to earn enough money to take up/set up a rented house. Personally, I believe home is where the heart is, if they have each other I feel they could manage for a while with the basic necessities and gradually set up the house in a better manner.

Both these cases the girls are now unhappy, when all they expected was care, a few loving words and the partner’s companionship. If such are the ways of the world, the already scared me is getting more apprehensive about the guy I would meet. I sincerely wish, that women become more stronger and the men more emotional. Too much to wish for, is it??

Unshakable Bonds?

I was sitting with a friend and chatting with him about the resignation letter he put today, just after lunch. Had a cup of coffee on the table. I observe that there’s continuous shaking of the table. That’s when I realized that the chair was shaking too, I asked him “are you shaking your legs?” for which he responded with “No, but someone is surely shaking their legs.” That’s when we realized it was an earthquake. It was too much to ignore. We asked the lady on the other table and she confirmed the weird shaking too.

We got up from our tables and then we see people rushing out of the cafeteria in groups. All headed towards the elevators and staircase. The tremors had ceased by the time we got down the stairs of eight floors. I was jokingly telling my friend that he just put his papers and it made the earth shake, what would happen when he leaves. That’s when we got to know about the 8.9 Richter scale earthquake in Indonesia and about the tremors that have been felt across so many states in India. Within ten minutes the networks were jammed, with people trying to reach their loved ones. Such are the bonds of love and care aren’t they?

The whole incident brought back memories from childhood. My first experience with an earthquake was way back in school ( I am sure that people who are good with dates would still remember the year atleast, but I’ve forgotten it. ). We were all in class when we it was announced that there was an earthquake and we had to evacuate the building. All kids were rushed to the open grounds adjacent to the school campus. Being kids and it being the only time such  a thing had happened in Bangalore, we were terrified.

All girls were sobbing and wanted to go back home. Those being the days when kids didn’t carry mobile phone, we couldn’t contact anyone. I vividly remember crying and expressing the wish to meet my sister. When my friends asked why am I not concerned about my parents, I told that they would manage to be fine on their own, but my sis was alone at college. I wondered how she would reach home. I remembered her a million times and prayed and prayed for her to be safe.

We were so close to each other. We would talk about everything. Since the age difference is more, she was always like a second mom, taking care of me and reprimanding me for anything wrong I did, but supporting me at all times. She was and is my savior in a lot of situations. Times and responsibilities have changed. Having a full time job and a prankster at home, she is occupied all the time. We don’t speak for weeks together sometimes. When we do meet up, the tiny tot is the obvious one to get all the attention. Hopefully we get time soon to catch up and act like typical sisters.

You tell me, what were you upto, when mother earth decided to do a jig??

Motivation

I remember the school days when I loved being the teacher’s favorite. Getting praised by them would make me so happy and would make me strive harder. Though I was never the kind who could sit in one place and study continuously even during exams, I managed to study and top the class many a times. The competition amongst classmates made me crazy. I have a habit of saying a small prayer with a few shlokas before going to bed every night. The prayer has modified over the years. I remember that when going school I used to pray every night, saying that I have to score more than Mohan, Asiya, Mamatha, Asif etc. so on… I used to take everyone’s name who I thought was a competition to me! That motivated me like crazy.

Would there be extra curricular competition, I would be keen on participating and winning. I wanted to do it all. Be the best. Had that driving spirit in me. Since me and my sister studied in the same school, the teachers who taught her, taught me too. They would recognize me saying “You are A’s sister right?“. She was a consistent topper throughout the school and college career. That set expectations from me and that motivated me to strive hard. To try and be as good as her.

As I grew and my scores declined in college. Though I wanted to do well the bar of the achievable target was lowered. There were disappointing times which pulled me down lower. This in no way helped me and gone were the days when I rocked. I got used to being mediocre.

Right now I’m here. Been working for two to three odd years but don’t feel too great about myself. I am doing nothing to upgrade my skills or be the best. All around I see people learning new stuff, getting better jobs, reaching better positions and making more money. Many of the guys I knew in school/college who used to never study or qualify in the exams are doing great in big companies today. In much better positions than me today. I feel that’s one of the best qualities amongst most guys, they study not to pass exams. They study and understand to gain knowledge. Most girls on the other hand are book-worms and study to get marks.

I have great guy friends at office, very knowledgeable. I totally admire them for their intellect and IQ. I like hanging out with them more than most girls at office because they discuss a lot of knowledgeable stuff compared to the gals who are busy gossiping. But one thing that’s eating me up is that nothing is motivating me. I am not striving to do anything different or learn things I ought to. I know I have to but I am just not able to. I start, I give up. Nothing drives me.

Heard from a friend that most of us in this age group would be going through this sort of a situation. It’s called the quarter-life crisis. The symptoms are you start feeling “you are not good enough, you aren’t doing anything great, you just don’t know where you’re headed to, everyone’s doing better than me”. Questions that bother you would me “What am I doing? Where am I going? What’s my future gonna be like? Am I in the right job?”. What we both couldn’t figure out is how do we get out of it!!??

Tell me if you’ve been through such times and what did you do that made a difference? One question that I am going around asking is “What motivates you?“. Same question thrown at you.

P.S: I just noticed that I wrote an entire post without smileys! I must be growing up!

P.P.S: Just ruined it!

Twins

For those of you who’ve watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S, you might remember “TOW with the Apothecary Table” episode, where Ross comments about Phoebe liking her things to be one of a kind by saying “You know what’s not one of a kind, a Twin!”.

I totally disagree. Twins being born is so unique (if you know what I mean). It’s two of a kind I know, but twins being born itself is one of a kind amongst the usual. When my sister was carrying, I used to keep telling her, if it were to be twins it would be so exciting. She would retort back saying “Yeah right! Handling and bringing up one kid is difficult enough.” Whenever me and she did or thought something similar, which would be a lot of times, we would call each other “two twin papaas” born five and a half years apart.

It’s so fascinating. It’s not that I don’t know the biology behind it, I do. I find it fascinating in spite of that. The fact that they are very attached to each other. The things I have heard, that if one cries, so does the other. If one falls sick, so does the other. How they are inseparable etc, everything is fascinating. We had twins in our class too. The guys looked so alike and many people couldn’t tell them apart. They were really close to each other. Heard that they almost cried when they had to join different companies as they had studied together all along too.

The Raghu-Rajiv twist in MTV Roadies was cool surprise and added a new dimension to the show I would say. Also did you know that the baby you saw in the movie Baby’s Day Out was not one but two. They were twins too. They were alternately worked with as when one was tired. Amazing isn’t it?

Why I am yapping away about twins? That’s because a friend of mine from work delivered twins three days back, a boy and a girl! I am just super-excited and waiting to go see them sometime soon. Also I had been planning to crochet blankets for them, but didn’t have the right yarn. When ordering the yarn also I was wondering what color to choose. What if I choose pink and both were boys or what if I choose blue and both were girls, so I chose colors according to what might look good. I’m yet to lay my hands on them. Then, I’ll be crocheting away. Anyway now it being one boy and one girl, it’s perfect. I hope the babies find the blanket soft and warm.

Count Your Blessings

I crib a lot. All the time. Sort of the kind who finds happiness in being unhappy. I gotta do something about it. Decided to put down here, the things which according to me are blessings in disguise.

- The first spell of rain after the scorching summer.

- A tree filled with the brightest of flowers.

- Baby talk and laughter.

- One glass of cool water after a tiring day.

- The friend calling you at the right time, when you are feeling low.

- The dripping ice-cream you are licking away.

- The concern in mom’s voice.

- Puppy’s lick.

Don’t just the thought of these things bring a smile on your face? So if they aren’t blessings what are they? Don’t you agree?